cultures & traditions back to planning
A long time ago the ceremony was the most powerful part of a wedding day. It was the focal point of a day that celebrated family, culture, ideas and life. The ceremony was the ritual that created and upheld the spiritual, mental and emotional power of a day that was a defining moment in a couple's lives.
Today a truly memorable wedding ceremony can be a challenge. We live in an incredible time of empowerment and personal freedom; we marry for love, outside of our "tribe" and we have complete control over the sacred act of joining with another in the bond of matrimony. That is incredible! This leaves you wide open to unlimited possibilities! Which can be more than a little daunting when you come to create this, probably the only ritual you will have a part in, in your life; your wedding. Where do you start?
WHAT IS RITUAL?
Let's take a look at what makes a ritual. Now we traditionally have not examined ritual too closely. Ritual was something that was done to us or for us by an authority figure chosen by our family or tribe, we didn't have to "go there". You wanted to get married? Here is your wedding ritual. And if you are a member of an organized faith system, then you are already equipped with a ritual expert; your rabbi, your priest or your minister, who is a phenomenal resource for these rituals; why they happen, what they mean, how they are supposed to feel. But for those who do not have a religious based faith system and cannot find "rituals, expert" in the yellow pages, here is some hope and guidance for you.
Ritual is so simple and yet so complex that the more you examine it the more profound it becomes. Ritual is the physicalization of what you believe and feel. Potentially, everything you do is ritual. When you wake up, feed the dog, make dinner, watch a sunset, smiling as you hear a favorite song, holding hands with your mate; these are the basic rituals of everyday life.
A wedding is a "high ritual;" one day set aside, different than the others, where everything is made as special as it can be. You put on special clothes, you say very special words, you dine on special foods, you dance, laugh, you live more fully in the moment on that day than you do on the other days in your life. The physical aspects that you gather; your dress, your banquet feast, your flowers and invitations are symbols of things invisible; they are symbols of your feelings, your style, the way you live, they are symbolic of your beliefs, your hopes your dreams; your love. Your wedding must spring from your way, to have power. If your wedding ceremony does not represent what you believe and feel then you are missing out something really powerful. The power of ritual is that it has the potential to change everything. It may be invisible, but it packs a lot of punch.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Ritual is empty if it does not reflect the truth of the way you live your life. Joseph Campbell, the noted professor from Columbia who taught classes and published numerous books on myth, spirituality and ritual wrote that the truths that make up any ritual; whether it is lighting a candle, saying a prayer, blessing a newborn, or stepping into marriage in a wedding ceremony - it must Honor, Reflect, Inspire and Transform.
HONOR If you are like many other couples, you are looking to create a wedding ritual that honors some tradition; family tradition, cultural or religious tradition. A wedding must have the familiar; the tribal way.
REFLECT Your wedding ceremony should reflect your style; lighthearted, reserved, funny or reverent
INSPIRE You want to inspire your guests, light that fire in them, keep them focused! No need to have an Officiant going on for 45 minutes boring your guests
TRANSFORM And what happens when all these things are dialed in, is that you, your family and everyone there is transformed into something more than what you were when you arrived. That is the power of ritual. It changes everything. Everyone arrives seeing you as a single person; they leave viewing you and your mate as partners.
Most couples want to create and enjoy a wedding event that is more reflective of their own style; one that is more mature in nature. Usually this means creating a wedding day that honors your guests more, a day that is more inspirational, more connected and transforming for everyone there, not just the couple or their immediate families.
WAYS TO CREATE A POWERFUL RITUAL
Honor your family; let them know how you feel in your ceremony, involve them in the ceremony; reciting the prayer or blessing.
Honor your ideology; or the ideology your parents raised you by with a story, reading or poem. Do it with respect, never pretending to take the place of a rabbi or priest.
Honor a culture that you come from or that you love; with music, poetry or wedding customs.
Honor yourselves; highlight what is so special about you both, what you do, what you want, what your dreams are, what your similarities and differences are.
Honor your site; involve the surroundings you are all gathered by; the ocean, a garden of flowers, the trees, a home. Bring it into the day with décor or poetry.
Have fun. The most important part. Be a guest at your own wedding and enjoy!
Congratulations to you!
Many couples wish to add a special blessing to their wedding ceremony. Whether a blessing will be within the ceremony [check with your Officiant] or done during the reception, these special words or deeds remind everyone of how fortunate the couple, the family, indeed everyone is, to be touched by love.
Blessing come in an assortment of styles; cultural, traditional, contemporary, verbal, physical or made up.
You may use a more natural blessing after the ceremony to balance a strongly traditional ceremony or go with something more reverent to bring an outdoor celebration to a higher level. Make sure that your blessing is appropriate to the mood of your day, your belief system, your surroundings and the overall tone you want to create.
Here are some that we have collected over the years.
Butterfly Release
A great idea to include your guests in the importance of your wedding ceremony is to have them offer their hopes and blessings for you and to let them “do” something to show it. A butterfly release at an outdoor ceremony is fun and beautiful. Please be sure that you only work with a reputable company who raises to butterflies to live not just as “one shot” wedding props.
Butterfly Release
“Today, in this ceremony of marriage, we take the time to speak in the ancient language of symbolism. In ritual, a simple act; lighting a candle, releasing a butterfly, speaking a vow, is no longer just a simple act. Inside each act we find the power of a new life beginning. Butterflies have always symbolized new beginnings and rebirth. Native American legends say that, if you have a secret wish, capture a butterfly and whisper your wish to it. Since butterflies cannot speak, your secret is ever safe in their keeping. Release the butterfly, and it will carry your wish to the Great Spirit, who alone knows the thoughts of butterflies.
Please hold in your heart your deepest wishes and blessings for Bride and Groom and release your butterflies.”
[Group releases individual butterflies. Bride and Groom can release an entire box of butterflies together]
Children
Incorporating children from your previous relationships into your ceremony of marriage is of the utmost importance. Especially important is defining and honoring the exact boundaries of the relationship as it is and as you wish it to be as you all mature and grow closer together as a family. Not every bride will become "Stepmom" to her husband's children and forcing this concept onto a child who has a perfectly good relationship with her natural mother is uncomfortable and unfair. We also feel that giving jewelry in a ceremony of marriage should be reserved only for the bride and groom, since the ring exchange is so dominant in a Western ceremony and children can easily lose jewelry. Natural, heartfelt words spoken to the children during the ceremony honors them and their place in your lives. Also have children written their own words to offer their blessings to you; this is adorable and gets a good smile or a chuckle from your guests. Although very powerful heard spontaneously it may be smart to have an adult pre-screen a child's message.
[Spoken by Officiant]
“Bride and Groom share a certain way of loving with each other and with theirs kids. It is what makes them natural parents. They speak the same language that their kids do. Not that they are childish, on the contrary. Their emotional maturity illuminates a way for all of us to learn from.
Standing up here with Bride and Groom are some very special people that Groom and Bride wish to honor; [children’s names]
This ceremony is a celebration of the connection that Groom, Bride, child, child and child share. Groom and Bride are enriched by more than just a mate today. Today they accept each other’s family, unconditionally, into their lives.”
Message from Bride and Groom to children
[Said by Officiant or by Bride and Groom themselves]
“You are perfect just as you are and we promise to you that our hearts will always be a safe haven for you and our arms will always be open to you. We are so grateful for the love and closeness that we share. We view our joining into marriage today as a way to become even closer with you, in love. And when you find you need to walk alone, we will always be standing close behind you with our arms outstretched, cheering you on and catching you should you stumble. We give you our promise to give you our love forever. We love you.”
Candles
[You should have your spokesperson forewarn people that they will be asked to offer a blessing so they can think of a good one!]
"Ladies and gentlemen later this evening, during our celebration for Groom and Bride Last Name you will be asked to participate in a second ceremony. We will have a rather unique version of the lighting of a unity candle. You will be asked to speak a blessing or a gift for the couple in a prayer circle so may want to think of a single word or two that you would like to bestow upon them.”
The circle of candles blessing
[Have guests form a large circle around the couple. The couple and their spokesperson are inside the circle with a table holding a single large candle that is already lit and 2 tapers for the Bride and Groom. Each guests has already been given an unlit candle to hold]
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Groom and Bride Last Name would like you now to participate in a special circle of blessings. To honor the light and the love that has guided Bride and Groom throughout their lives Groom and Bride will light a unity candle together. They will then come to each one of you to light your candle, to thank you for your love and support and to bless you in your journey through life. You can speak a blessing or a gift for the couple when all candles are lit. It is all right to duplicate blessings! Usually in a traditional unity candle ceremony two candles are brought to the altar, one by the bride one by the groom, together they light a third candle to symbolize their unity, blowing out their individual candles. Bride and Groom have here today the light of the individual candles, it shines in their eyes. The third light burns ever so brightly between them, an eternal spirit flame that is stronger and more life giving because they pass it on to you to hold and to nurture and to keep alive with them. So as you form a circle with them, and they come around to share their light with you, let us all bless this couple with our hopes for their success.”
[A little music plays while the couple goes around to light the candle of each and every guest. Then when all are lit the spokesperson can lead off with the first blessing as an example. “I offer a blessing of unconditional love to Bride and Groom…or healthy children…happiness...Then each person in circle can offer a blessing if they wish. Each guest steps forward to offer their brief, verbal blessing or they can remain still knowing that their light is shining brightly in support of the couple’s future.]
“Now we will blow our candles out together to send our blessings out to powers that watch over Bride and Groom. Breathe life into your blessing now.”
blow!
Family
Here are some special words for your Officiant to incorporate into your ceremony to turn towards your family and offer them your gratitude and love. This is very powerful and generates so much love and emotion and often healing.
"Bride and Groom’s families gave them both so much love and inspiration, they set the foundation for the family that Bride and Groom will create. Bride and Groom believe in love because they have been so loved. Today they commit to continuing and deepening the love that brought them into this world. It means a great deal to both of them that you are sharing in this; their most joyful of days. Between the two families, Bride and Groom’s parents bring over [total of years both sets of parents married] years of marriage to our celebration today! That is quite a gift to pass on to your children; the understanding that marriage lasts a lifetime. Through challenges and triumphs, through the profound times and the simple times. Bride gives her thanks to [Groom’s Father] and [Groom’s Mother] for the love and the kindness with which they raised Groom. Your focus, your strength and your love have created and incredible man who she loves with all her heart.
Groom gives his thanks to [Bride’s Father] and [Bride’s Mother] for the spirit, the passion and the unconditional love with which you raised Bride. Bride is a beautiful, strong and compassionate woman who he loves with his whole heart and being.
In the joy of this celebration we are also grateful for the love of [family members who have passed] for their love. We know that they look down on this day with their blessings for Bride and Groom’s happiness.
Their families; parents and grandparents, have shown Bride and Groom how to live a life of loving kindness and caring, and have illuminated the spirit of living life to its fullest. An understanding that lives in them and will live in their children."
Group
You’ve gathered all of the people that matter to you to help you celebrate this incredible rite of passage. If it weren’t for all those people sitting out there you could have gone to Vegas or the courthouse and just gotten it over with! But, for so many people, it really does not feel like a wedding without your world being there to honor the event. To witness just the legality of your marriage but your metamorphosis into husband and wife. It is great fun to get the blessings [not the approval] of your guests during your ceremony.
“Bride and Groom wish to thank all of you here today who have come to honor their commitment to each other. All of you have inspired Bride and Groom on their journey through life; you are all a part of their life. Your contributions, your love and energies have become a part of Bride and Groom and will continue to nourish and inspire them in their future together. Your blessing on this, their most important day is of the utmost importance to both of them.
To all of you here do you give your blessing to their union and do you promise to help them celebrate their love together for the rest of their lives?
"We do"
Hawaiian
Traditional Hawaiian Wedding Prayer
Ka malamalama o ke Akua e ho'opuni mai ia kakou.
The love of God surrounds us.
Ke aloha o ke Akua e kipuni mai ia kakou.
The love of god enfolds us.
We thank You our Heavenly Creator for this day and for the beauty of it.
For this exact moment.
We acknowledge you for bringing these two hearts together, knowing it is You who will strengthen and establish them as one. We ask that You weave their marriage tapestry with golden threads of hope and love, commitment and truth, loyalty forgiveness and patience.
May they know always your loving, living presence within their lives.
We say Mahalo in advance for all these gifts and more... Aloha and Amen.
O Pule
O Makua lani, o Ke Akua i Ao holo'oko'a
La'a aloha, aloha kakou
O Makua lani
Hemolele Hemolele Hemolele
O Heavenly One, O God of the Universe
Sacred is the Aloha to You
O Ancient Ancestor of Heaven
Sacred Sacred Sacred!
I ka haka moa keia, ke halakau nei ka lani
E ola a ala loa no
Maika'I o ke 'ala o ia pua
O pule pili lele wai! Amene Amene Amene
Here is a perch, a heavenly resting place
May there be life - an everlasting life
Time is the fragrance of that flower
Our prayer has flown to the waters. Amen Amen Amen
Opening Prayer
Na Ke Akua me kokoke maua, e pale aku mai maua a iloko maua, e ho'oikaika mai maua a puni maua, e malama mai maua a mamua ae maua, e alakai mai maua a mahope iho maua, e ho'apono mai maua a maluna maua, e ho'opomaika'i mai maua.
May the blessings of God Almighty surround us: be within us to refresh our hopes in one another, around us to preserve our trust for each other, before us to guide our path of love for one another, behind us to help us to honor each other, and above us to bless our love and faith in one another. Amen.
Closing Prayer
O Pule
La'a Akua hano hano
Ho'o maika'I ka ano hilina
o'e iko mahui ka'oi
Sacred God most holy
Bless those present with many good things
And give them Your Trust
Makua ulu lani
Ke Akua I mauloa ka Haku o Hawaii
Aloha nui loa e oli hui ka Akua
Great Ancestor of the Celestial Spheres
God of Creation and Lord of Heaven
Source of all great love we sing to You
Na koni au a ho omau
We kiss and carry on….
Na ke aloha i kono e hui 'olua e
Love has made a plea that you two be united!
Aloha nui loa, ka kou
Jewish
Mazel Tov! What an exciting phrase to hear! The glass is broken and you are married with the blessing s of your friends and family and Rabbi.
Here is an abbreviated version of the traditional Hebrew Seven Blessings that has been "Rabbi approved" for non denominational weddings and a part of a poem by the Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai that is so beautiful; celebrating the family and the name that binds.
The 3 blessings
“May the Lord bless you and guard you,
May the Lord show you favor and be gracious to you,
and May the Lord show you kindness and grant you peace.
Amen.
The shattered glass is a reminder that although the wedding has provided a taste of redemption, the world is still in exile; broken and requiring our care. Its breaking is not only a reminder of sorrow but also an expression of hope for new beginnings and a future free for all."
Add in a powerful poem by one of Israel's most beloved poets:
All the generations before me
All the generations before me donated me, bit by bit, so that I would be erected all at once, here in Jerusalem, like a house of prayer or a charitable institution.
It binds. My name is my donor’ name. It binds.
I have to change my life and death daily to fulfill all the prophecies prophesized for me. So that they are true. It binds. My donors’ name binds.
~Yehuda Amichai
Native American
Whether you work with a Shaman or have your Officiant or a friend speak these beautiful and powerful words, your ceremony will be enriched by the ancient power that these blessings from our native peoples bring. Different tribes, of course, have different traditions here but a few.
Apache Blessing:
"Now will you feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now will you feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth."
Medicine Wheel Blessing [compiled from Cheyenne, Sioux and Crow teachings]
[The Bride and Groom stand within a sacred circle that can be made of petals, seashells, leaves, twigs, wheat, stones, a chalk drawing, personal totems, long branches formed into a tipi-like shelter or anything that has power and resonance for them. The important thing is that they are within a circle that represents The Medicine Wheel; universal mirror to all life and all directions. The speaker or couple may wish to face towards the directions as they are mentioned.]
“Bride and Groom understand that whether at the beginning or at the end, all of this is only one single thing Each and every seed carries within it its own unique secret ties with the One.
Together we invoke the One. Allow the love of The Great Spirit to surround and enfold you
Here in this sacred circle that represents all of life, we remember that each way, each direction is sacred; North, South, East, West , above, below and within.
From the North comes wisdom
From the South comes innocence [trust ]
From the East comes illumination
From the West comes introspection
From above comes The Great Spirit
From below comes the strength of Earth, our Mother
And from within comes the reflection of all and our understanding of life as one.
As you give Bride and Groom the gift of your hope for them, you give them your blessing.
Ho.”
Words from Black Elk, Sioux Holy man: [these words make a beautiful ring blessing]
"Let us bless these rings with these words from Black Elk, a Sioux Holy Man:
'Everything the "Power of the World" does, is done in a circle
The sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are the stars
The wind, in its greatest power, whirls
Birds make their nests in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours.
The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle
Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were.
Life is a circle from childhood to childhood
So it is in everything where power moves.' "
Nature
Pagan is really just a language or form of understanding life, love and spirit through Nature.
Mother Earth was, of course, the original temple in which to honor all.
Incorporating nature into a ceremony is a powerful and gentle way to convey feelings that a traditional religious wedding may not express. Couples who do not practice a religion may find adding natural means of expressing universal harmony to be helpful in their quest to than a focus on the celebration of life that a wedding can be.
Using an altar is a fun way to bring together many elements that express the various aspects of life, love, partnership that create marriage. For a smaller wedding; each guest can come to the altar and light incense, or if you have asked guests in advance to bring an small token for the altar they can come forward with it and offer a single word of blessing, or say what the item represents, and place in on the altar. For larger events guests can light incense or place items on the altar at their own leisure during the reception.
“The altar that Bride and Groom have created is filled with totems offer remembrances of blessings that they have received. These artifacts represent the many ways that Bride and Groom contemplate and witness the beauty of creation.
These words written on paper represent the wisdom with which they Bride and Groom have been blessed.
The beautiful flower petals represent the perfect innocence of love, the purity and gentleness of Spirit.
The candles burn brightly, reflecting within their fire, the illumination Bride and Groom have received, which has guided them to this day and this moment.
The mirror symbolizes the power of introspection; of finding oneself and honoring oneself as a reflection of Spirit
The incense symbolizes devotion and the prayers that we send up above to honor Great Spirit
The stones represent their many travels and their strong connection to the earth, for to truly fly we must maintain our connection to mother earth, Bride and Groom share strong roots with mother earth.
And the crystals represent the depths of our inner life within, the powerful beauty that is created when we combine fire, earth and spirit deep within resulting in magic.
Bride and Groom have all the elements balanced within them and within their life together. We join with them on this day as the elements join them to honor their life together…
We offer our blessing to Bride and Groom with a moment of silence in which we hear the trees as they sway in agreement of true oneness. {or the wind, or the waves, or the birds…}
They know more of Spirit than words can express.”
[moment of silence]
Parents
Always remember to thank your parents for the gifts, blessings and lessons they have shared with you.
Poem to their parents from the Bride and Groom:
To my parents on my wedding day
You've taught me much of growing up
Of life, and wondrous things,
But mostly how love has no end
Like the bands of golden rings.
I've watched the way the two of you
Have kept your love so strong.
A warm embrace, a gentle kiss,
Two voices but one song.
Now before our family and friends,
I pledge my love so true
A love that blossoms more each day
That's blessed by both of you.
And of all the vows I speak this day,
My heart will pray one more
That I will share a love like yours
With the one whom I adore.
Wine
A gorgeous silver goblet -perhaps an heirloom-full of wine that the couple shares a sip from, is a rich and royal way to end a ceremony of marriage. Ceremonies have marriage have incorporated the sharing of the grape to bind two families long before it became a Catholic sacrament. Please use this blessing with respect. A Priest is the only person who can enact the sacred ritual of the Eucharist. This wine blessing is meant to celebrate life and love.
Note: Red wine is traditional, but many Brides opt for White to avoid the possibility of disaster!
“Bride and Groom will now share a glass of wine to celebrate their blessings and their new beginning. This wine represents the richness and strength that Bride and Groom will share in their lives, and the commitment that these two passionate people make to their life together; what they share together will be shared with no other. This wine also represents the joy and celebration with which they begin their union and the connection to life, happiness and family that they will honor together for the rest of their lives.
Bride and Groom do you vow to celebrate good times together and support each other through difficult times, do you vow that you will honor and cherish each other and above all that you will celebrate each other each day and in all things?
“We do“
The years of all of your lives together will be as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink.
May the cup of your lives be sweet and full. Drink with your eyes and then with your lips.
Drink now to each other to end your ceremony of marriage and to celebrate the beginning of your life, full of blessings, as husband and wife.”
[couple sips, Bride first! and hands cup back to Officiant]
Yogic
"AUM, the word, means all, it is a little word which conveys great meaning; when spoken as pranava it translates to the highest praise or prayer. You may ask what does “that Yoga word” have to do with a wedding ceremony? Everything. The AUM is representative of all things, yet most importantly for us it represents the way of living that Bride and Groom have chosen to enter into as husband and wife. The AUM, for them, reflects their decision to connect through all levels. AUM has many facets, like any rare and valuable jewel. The “A” represents the outer life, Conscious love; the masculine, the past. The “U” represents the inner life, Subconscious love, the feminine and the present. The “M” represents all life, Higher love, the neutral and the future. The silence, that comes after the word has been spoken, stands for the place where we await transition in between lives, pre-birth; the great letting go, transcending the limitations of time; the womb of the conscious mother. Complete at one-ness with the universe.
The entire symbol of the Aum stands for the living spirit, which is but a portion of the divine spirit. Individually the letters of AUM also represent speech, mind and the breath of life. These three elements have everything to do with why we are here today as they represent the entire purpose of this sacred ritual. Gathered together in this beautiful, peaceful setting we are here to be fully present, literally in spirit, with Bride and Groom as they state their vows of marriage; that they will be of the same mind in the ultimate incarnation of spirit; the very breath of life; love. They will speak their mind in spirit.
Bride and Groom welcome you all into the sacred space that is their love. They want you all to be present with them. To take time to connect; through these words, through your feelings, through the incredible life and love that surrounds you and emanates from within you."
[The couple lights incense on an altar that has been created by the them out if special tokens that have meaning to them. Stones, flowers, pictures, statues, memories and hopes that represent their love and life together.]
"As Bride and Groom send this blessing to the heavens with aromatic and powerful incense, we can all join together to offer our hopes and dreams for Bride and Groom by speaking Om together."
[Whole group in unison] “Ommmmmmmmm”
The world is rich with many cultural traditions for wedding celebrations.
A wedding that feels like an Old World wedding of whatever culture [or cultures] the couple wishes to honor is memorable and very fulfilling to experience. For instance a Scottish wedding ritual has a very different feel than a Persian wedding ritual which is very different than a Greek wedding ritual. Beyond religion; the customs, the music, the dress, the poetry all create a very dynamic feeling that translates the heart of a culture’s way of expressing love and spirit. Honoring culture is a deep and rich gift to both of your families and it allows everyone there to gain a deeper understanding of ways that may differ from their own.
Look to poetry, music and dress to get an idea of the essence of a culture’s style.
Research wedding traditions online and talk to older generations of family or find resources locally. No one knows what a wedding felt like in the old country better than a Grandma!
You might want to enact cultural rituals or simply incorporate the story of it into your ceremony.
Always honor different backgrounds with respect. Have the matriarch or patriarch of one family read a poem or a blessing in the “mother tongue” with another guest of honor repeating it in English, line for line. Hearing the two ways blending in harmony creates quite a feeling for your guests. Learn a sentence or two of the “other” language to ask the families for their blessing in their native tongue.
Print a blessing or a few lines from a poem in the “mother tongue” and in English in your program, on invitations or on language cue cards for guests. Incorporate a funny line or too to lighten things up.
It is hard to be at a celebration when it is difficult to communicate. Create situations where guests can learn from each other and have some fun. With the right tools you can seat a mixture of guests at each table instead of all the English speakers at table 3 and all the non-English speakers at table 4.
Have an older, outgoing family member relate a story with a translator. This can be quite touching and helps them feel more a part of the day.
Music from the culture is very strong as it communicates equally to all guests. Ask older family members to do traditional dances and songs. Unlike Westerners, most cultures sing at happy occasions like weddings and older generations still know the traditional cultural songs.
It is always a good idea to work with translators, for the ceremony and reception, if you have a relative or relatives who cannot easily understand English, that way they can enjoy the whole day.
A culturally rich and well-designed wedding celebration is inspiring to experience, reflects your style and honors some tradition [or creates a new one!] A wedding is a golden opportunity to share something vital with your future mate, your closest friends and family. Make yours look, sound and feel like you. Have a great time planning your wedding!
Whether you wish to have a full scale religious wedding or simply want to incorporate a few details to honor a faith that matters to you or your family, these traditions will help you create a meaningful event that is rich in spirit and love.
Buddhist
Links to information on a Buddhist wedding ceremony. Remember that like most religions, Buddhist ceremonies are heavily influenced by the culture that one comes from. A Tibetan Buddhist ceremony will differ from a Japanese Buddhist ceremony.
Buddhist
http://www.urbandharma.org/udnl2/nl021004.html
http://www.buddhanet.net/ceremony.htm
Indian http://weddings.iloveindia.com/buddhist-wedding/index.html
Thai http://www.weddingsinthailand.com/thai_buddhist_ceremony_wedding.php
enjoy this Japanese Buddhist Ceremony:
Orthodox Jewish:
MORE BEING ADDED TO THIS SECTION ....stay tuned!
Our country was created to celebrate freedom of ideology and it is a precious gift to us all. So why, if you do not practice any religion at all, would you want a ceremony that feels religious or that is delivered by someone who needs to bring religion into your wedding for their own reasons?
Traditionally ceremonies that bonded two people in marriage were performed by a religious leader in the "eyes of God," so today many Officiants and non-denominational [which is still usually Christian] Ministers still want or need to incorporate some sort of religious dynamic into your wedding.
Did you know that in California, anyone can be licensed as an Officiant for the day ? Why not have a custom ceremony written for you or write your own and have an old family friend or the matriarch or patriarch of your family perform your ceremony?
Contact The Recorder County Clerk for information on licensing someone for a day as a "Deputy Marriage Commissioner for a day" to legally perform your ceremony of marriage.
This, of course, leaves you wide open with what can be said about love and marriage. Please note that most if not all wedding traditions will have some religious base. So we suggest that you go with the traditions that mean something to you personally and culturally; molding them to fit your needs and create your own traditions, so that you will enjoy your day in respect for your ideology.
Although seemingly antiquated, a receiving line is very logical way to thank and greet each one of your guests individually, which is an absolute essential for the Bride and Groom. If you are hosting over 100 guests, personal attention to each one of them becomes a task that is most daunting.
The traditional receiving line is sort of a boy-girl-boy-girl order with Mother of the Bride starting it all off.
Mother of the Bride
Father of the Groom
Mother of the Groom
Father of the Bride
Bride
Groom
Maid of Honor
Best Man
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen optional
Of course a receiving line can include anyone you wish to honor as your "family" and can be in any order you wish. After your ceremony your recessional takes the bridal party and the families [usually front row; Mothers, Fathers, Step-Parents, immediate family] and gets them to a setting where they can regroup and enjoy the post ceremony elation! Share that with your guests!
Traditionally the bridal party and parents of the Bride and Groom would line up outside of the church or temple and acknowledge each guest as they left. "Onsite" weddings offer a bit of a challenge as there is often no one set direction to exit a park, the beach or a huge tent; hence flow can be a problem.
Creating a receiving line as your guests leave the cocktail reception is different yet also makes sense. Guests move on into the dining reception area and you have your grand entrance into the reception area moments later. You could also greet guests as they enter reception area but you don't want to miss your grand entrance and who can blame you?
The key is to a successful receiving line is to keep the guests moving along the line to avoid traffic jams. The secret? The next person along in the receiving line "pulls" the happy, well-wishing guests forward along the line. "Hello! Great to see you, so glad you could come and celebrate with us today! What a happy day. Have a great time! We will see you at the reception." and the ever gracious "And you are...?" asked by the person preceding the newlyweds to help the overloaded Bride and Groom remember names of guests they haven't met or seen in years.
Enjoy!